hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
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Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize