so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
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Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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