Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
My life is pants optional.
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