Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
