Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
