I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
