You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
