very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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