I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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