I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
