with your own penis?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
