I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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