Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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