I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
