grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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