the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
