he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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