You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
