I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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