i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
