If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
