We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
