ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Randomize
