we have pet lesbian snakes
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Life is so much better after having sex.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
