she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
