Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Randomize
