We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
