Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
