Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
