I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
