What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I love you.
Bad choice
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
