hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
