Texts From Last Night

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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?

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  (412): Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned? http://tfl.nu/249l
  Replies (32) Good night (566) Bad night (6453) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM

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  (330): mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM http://tfl.nu/ia9w
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  (817): View more from Texas

  At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.

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  (817): At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children. http://tfl.nu/trxp
  Replies (24) Good night (7872) Bad night (1004)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night

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  (302): I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night http://tfl.nu/y9ju
  Replies (23) Good night (6579) Bad night (1769) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.

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  (415): This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck. http://tfl.nu/wwj8
  Replies (14) Good night (786) Bad night (6825) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.

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  (443): This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night. http://tfl.nu/mfsu
  Replies (17) Good night (4894) Bad night (855)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  Totally get that.

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  (248): I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend. (1-248): Totally get that. http://tfl.nu/ho2w
  Replies (13) Good night (6005) Bad night (1085) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.

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  (850): We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself. http://tfl.nu/yba7
  Replies (3) Good night (2460) Bad night (630) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.

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  (512): dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander. http://tfl.nu/scp8
  Replies (29) Good night (4496) Bad night (1154) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out

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  (508): That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out http://tfl.nu/67gz
  Replies (3) Good night (3142) Bad night (801) Order T-Shirt
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.

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  (719): hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year. http://tfl.nu/9tpx
  Replies (3) Good night (1291) Bad night (467) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.

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  (203): you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class (1-203): why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday. http://tfl.nu/0z2t
  Replies (4) Good night (3494) Bad night (475)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.

  (1-517): View more from Michigan

  fuck our hall.

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  (517): the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story. (1-517): fuck our hall. http://tfl.nu/9mns
  Replies (7) Good night (490) Bad night (1487)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...

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  (336): Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text... http://tfl.nu/pmgt
  Replies (5) Good night (1772) Bad night (350) Order T-Shirt
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman

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  (484): 'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman http://tfl.nu/trz5
  Replies (2) Good night (657) Bad night (189) Order T-Shirt

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