they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
