sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
