I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
