Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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