cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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