i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
