new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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