Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
