HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Randomize
