and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
