why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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