small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
