Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
