How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
