Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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