You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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