goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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