just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
