Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
