there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
