what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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