The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
