btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
