just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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