Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Blow job season was short but glorious.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
