We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
