she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
oh god was she eating orange peels again
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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