idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
