yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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