My sheets look like a crime scene.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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